the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
one might say we're banned from that church
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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