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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.

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• (44): View more from United Kingdom

  You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.

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• (559): View more from California

  Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational

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• (206): View more from Washington

  You have to summon your inner elephant

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Stalker pic that shit

  (1-509): View more from Washington

  He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'

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• (631): View more from New York

  Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol

  Fav 0 27 21

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