Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
