Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
