What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
