in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
