Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
