i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Randomize
