Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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