mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
there is glitter all over my balls
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
