I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We talked him into tasing himself.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
