Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
