wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
