I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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