BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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