if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
