My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
