I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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