please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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