ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
