I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
