shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
