oh god the rape fog is back!
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
