I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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