just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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