we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
