yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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