I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
