Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
