so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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