Come see our sink grown plant.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
