I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
