Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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