so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
