All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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