I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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