3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
