Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
