So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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