I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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