Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
