Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
