Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
