its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
