i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
