All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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