dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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