I'm pants shitting drunk right now
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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