just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
