I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
