Pants 0. Shit 1.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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